Palmer Park Cravings

Palmer Park is not Moab, or Whistler and unless you have lived in Colorado Springs, you have probably never heard of it.  Now that I no longer have it at my finger tips, I miss and crave it.

Palmer Park is best described as being like a sampler at your favorite brewery or restaurant.  It has a little bit of the best of everything.  Want a taste of tech? Ride Templeton.  Feeling like finding a little flow? Ride the Palmer Trail and Yucca with some locals who know.  Like to climb? You can nickel and dime enough hills there to bury your legs and ease your mind. Want to get creative? Link "Panty Drop" to "Dead Coon", hit 'Trigonometry" and finish off with a little "When Pigs Fly".

Now that I have moved on, the "Sampler Platter" analogy has taken on new meaning.  Nobody every orders the sampler at their favorite restaurant unless they are introducing someone new to the place, or they have moved away and come back to visit.  This is because locals can have one favorite today and another tomorrow.  They have time to work their way through the menu.  I used to be a local, working my way through Palmer's tasty offerings.  Now, I am dying to order the sampler.  Mmmm...Palmer Park Sampler Platter.

There's a War Going On

This one is for my Colorado Springs riding buddies.

I recently realized that I am in the midst of a calculated chess match between the "Tribal Council of Tech" and the "Trail Means Path Association".  It wasn't an immediate realization, but I had noticed some strange changes here and there.  When it finally hit me was when the trail nearly hit me.  I took the tech option on a section.  There is about a 3 foot drop on this line with a little helper rock about a foot away for a smooth roll off.  The proper way to ride this lip would be to wheelie drop it, but the helper rock meant if you wheelie dropped the exit, it was likely you would nail the back wheel on that helper rock (which I did once, Stan's rims are freaking awesome!).  On this day as I exited, the helper rock was gone.  It was sudden and I was caught off guard. I survived the nose wheelie and said out loud, "That's not cool man!"  and for that moment, I was on the wrong side of the battle.  That helper rock didn't belong in the tech line, but I needed it.

I spent the rest of the ride thinking about my alignment with the Tribal Council of Tech.  Sure, I'm getting soft, but I stand by my allegiance to the tech.  I was used to this at Palmer Park and, because I expected it. It  made things interesting.  Feature was changed, Council didn't like it, put it back. Cat and mouse.  Here it was different.  I didn't know I was playing Russian Roulette on trail.

Whatever the case, now I know and I am looking forward, literally, to seeing how the war plays out here.  As always, I stand by the Tech.

By the way, on my next ride, the helper rock was back. Boooo, take the easy line if you don't like it.

Just some old pic's of things funny and sick.

What does this picture say to you?

Kids and adults pushing pedals at a local jump park in ABQ.

Thanksgiving

I give thanks for:
1) cranks
2) singletrack
3) rocks & berms

Define Mountain Biking

If I ride my mountain bike up a mountain with no trail, only road, is it still mountain biking?

If so, that means if I ride my road bike on the same ride, that's mountain biking too, right?

Hmmm...

uh-oh

Doesn't Deserve a Name

Some people eat to calm their nerves.  I eat to kill time until I can ride. Either way is not so good.  Maybe if I spend enough time thinking about riding my mind will generate a placebo effect on my body and I will feel like I rode.  Then I'll eat some more because I'm tired from my mental ride.

Rocks Belong in Trails

Mountains are made out of rocks.  Therefore their should be rocks in and on trails.  I once read about a blind man who mountain bikes by feel.  It must hurt his feelings even worse than mine when he feels piles of loose dirt in areas that once had challenging, and fun rock features.  I just don't understand why the rocks can't stay in their homes.

Greasy Hand Adventures

I volunteered at the Rescue Mission today.  It was awesome.  Here is the rundown:

-  Dude rolls up with a BMX with no brakes and a bent quill stem.  I spend a while trying to get the stem out.

- Another dude rolls up and needs a phillip screw driver.

- I finally get Dude 1's bent quill stem out.  We try to pirate a stem off an ancient dead BMX.  Wrong size.

- Dude 2 needs a socket wrench and some allen keys.

- We pirate some brakes for Dude 1's bike.  They don't fit (mounting stud is too short).

- Dude 2 fixed all his stuff and rolled out.  He left all my tools behind.  Shame on you for thinking...

- I put Dude 1's bike back together broken.  Fail.  Maybe Dude 2 needs to be turning the wrenches.

When I got home, I celebrated (celebrate win or lose, succeed or fail, that's my motto) with a tasty beverage.

10:39am

10/30/12 10:39am

I'm sitting in front of a class full of kids writing silently.  I see the mountains out the window and a warm sensation flows into my face.  I suddenly feel the strong urge to ride.  4 hours and 26 minutes until the car.  4 hours and 51 minutes until I turn some cranks. Waiting...

Well...

I miss my mountain bike.  My mountain bike misses Palmer Park. Mmmm...
Templeton.  Ah well.

Suffer Envy

When this year started, before the move was definite, before spring kicked in, when I still had a job, I had a goal.  Solo a 12 and then a 24. Specifically, solo the 24 Hours of Colorado Springs.  Life changed, things changed, goals changed.  I went from hoping for a 24 solo to being satisfied with time to ride.  I got a sweet surprise when the opportunity to solo a 12 popped up.  That was a special experience.  I knew that doing a solo 24 was out this year, but I can't help having a little 24 Hours of Colorado Springs envy right now.

Some of my old buds are throwing down hot laps right now. Some are throwing down beers right now.  All are loving it whether they're hurting or slurping.  Some great stories are being swapped, ZZZ are being caught, and the atmosphere, I'm sure, is infectious right now just like last year when I swore I'd be there this time.  For now, all I can do is the same as last year, swear I'll be there next year.

In the mean time, cheers.

Day Spa

Everything a I need for a "weekend get-away". Bike, TV, tunes, dog, and beer (not pictured). Garages are cool.

Fixie Jingle

I am not a hipster.  My fixie is a mountain bike and it is doo-doo brown and beat up.

Tis' the season for fools folly,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Fixie mountain biking oh gee golly,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
Hit a stump and bust your rump,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la, la, la
Get back on and don't be a grump,
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la!

Bear Jaw Groove Race Review

Last Saturday 9/08/12 I rode in the first annual "12 Hours of Bear Jaw Groove" here is my take on the race.  I decided to scrap my ten page historical account of the event.  Instead, I will try to sum it up in fits and starts.  Here it goes:

Free post race beer should be a 50 mile or greater race requirement. At least one.

Anything above 8,000 feet in an Aspen forest rocks.

Surprise! There is a "surprise parking fee high school fundraiser" at 6am in the morning.

"Um, I'm racing not spectating?" Still a fee. "Um, the course is 20 miles from town, a little notice...that's not really cool man."

Good course, short course.

No "Crested Butte Crusher" climbs. Laps 1-3 bummer.  Laps 4-12 thank you course planners.

GPS (Gut Perceptual Sense) logged the main climb at about 2.5 miles long.

GPS logged the ripping descent at about the rest of the course in length.

Short course was a mental menace. Hamster wheel. Hamsters seem to like them.

Not cheap, but not expensive. My shirt fit.

Cool people, cool atmosphere, cool weather. Cool.

Lap 7 "Welcome to the DARK SIDE"

What does 60 miles feel like? 80? What does DNF taste like?

2 laps left, no cramps, time to crack the savings account and throw down.

To my legs, "You guys are really going to let me throw down after all of this?"

Their response, "Yes, please do!"

No free beer.  Nobody told me until the end. Stolen carrot.

I don't even carry gears, why the hell would I carry cash?

Next year? Maybe. Good Times.

Saturday

I can declare, at 6:38pm, today has been a spectacular day.  It started with a family ride to recycle about a month's worth of beer bottles (I towed them in my son's trailer). Sweet.  Some other stuff happened and then I spun while my family napped.  We went to a birthday party for a four year old and I overheard about 15 bike related conversations. Good Stuff.  Cameron Chambers destroyed folks in another race! Awesome news.  I'm writing about bikes now. Always fun.  Tonight, when the boy goes down, I get to finish up "Project Frankenskareb" which, successful or not, has been sweet.  Seeing the inside of a fork is like a Myth Busters marathon. If I'm not satisfied by the end of all this, I can blow apart my son's coaster brake as the icing on my "Bicycle Day" cake.

Operation Frankenskareb

Operation Frankenskareb is in effect. Can a junky old Manitou Skareb Fork be converted into a 60mm fork for an old frame? If so, it will be less sucky than suspension of the 63mm era and thus, the junky Skareb will be transformed into a "good" fork, sort of.  If it works, I owe the guys at Bike Works some beer.  If it doesn't, I owe the guys at Bike Works some beer.

Stay tuned...

One

The deed is done.

12 hours on 1.

I am not the guy who won,

But I sure had a lot of fun!

The next chapter of insanity has officially begun.

I'm Hungry

One of my favorite things about several days of hard rides: food cravings.  If my stomach could speak, it would say " I'm hungry. Please feed me. I need to eat!".  Come to think of it, I'm hungry right now.  I can't wait for the day after 12 hours on the bike.  "Yes, I'll have a pizza and a six pack, G, what are you having?"

Lots of food.  One of the many benefits of bicycle induced bodily decimation.

Poser, Hipster Poser

Poser

Hipster Poser

I'm like Leo in "Catch Me if You Can" except nobody is buying my story here.  Maybe I'll offer to volunteer and supply beer.  That will get me "hired".

No Wandering

After three rest days out of seven I figured today was a good day for a short hammer ride.  I do about three of these per year so I always forget that I can't let my mind wander on these days.  I started correctly. My thoughts were along the lines of, "Stand and crank, sit and grind, man I can't breath, stand and crank".  After about five minutes I started wandering though. "I wish there was a women's mountain bike club here for my wife, maybe she could..." Then I realized I wasn't breathing that hard. "Focus man, stand and crank..." I guess there isn't room for epiphanies on hard days unless you are riding one.  Although, realizing that during my ride was kind of an epiphany. Hmm.

Bike Ride

Limbaugh Canyon with a group of pedal crushers. It was a good weekend.

Dirty Dish

I wonder how common it is for cheap factory wheels to be poorly dished?

2 Rides and a Hike

Went on two rides and a hike, all in the same outing.  Lesson learned: Sometimes two spare tubes and a patch kit are not enough.  Here pinchy-pinchy, here pinchy.

Poser

"This guy has a few tools and now he thinks he's a mechanic.  He doesn't even
have any experience."

Conversation With an Addict With a Kid

Where did you ride today? "In my backyard."
Why? "Because my son was napping."
How long did you ride? "An hour or so."
Really? "Yes, I need to ride my bike."
You have problems. "Yup."

Directions to Get Faster

Ride just hard enough for lunch to rise to the back of your throat.  Hold until you blow. Repeat 1-2 times per week indefinitely.

Victory!

 I'll let the pictures do the talking this time.

Sweat + Spin = Seize
Lesson: Service annually

Filet-O-Tire

Swoosh-Swoosh-Swoosh-POW!  No more lame red striped tire.  Standing on the side of the road in 100 degree weather with a star shaped tear in my tire was quite the experience.  I contemplated making the dreaded call for a bailout, but I couldn't do it.  Instead, I jimmy-rigged a tire patch.  The silver lining was getting to stop every five minutes in the shadeless godforsaken desert on the climb back home to hand pump my tire once I ran out of Co2.  I'm sure my wife thought I was insane when I walked through the door with my rear wheel in my hand and a big grin on my face.

Those tires were lame anyways right?

New Leaf, Same Luck

I decided to start keeping my bikes clean.  I've always kept my drivetrain clean, but I usually leave a nice medley of dust, dried mud, chunks of dried sand, blood, sweat and bugs on the non-moving parts.  I liked to think of it as a moving collage.  When it got overly crowded, I would reluctantly wash the bike.  When I did wash it though, I did it the hard way. I usually employed an old yogurt or peanut jar, a toothbrush, rag, and some WD-40.  I think the reason for this was it allowed me to relive the memories of rides past one speck of mud, or blood at a time. 


I distinctly remember washing my Redline for the first time after about 6 months living in Colorado Springs.  Off the bottom bracket shell fell the last pieces of Flagstaff mud.  That was also about the time I realized how awesome the riding in the Springs was.  In the four years I lived in the Springs, I probably washed my bikes ten times.


There is nothing wrong with nostalgia, but change can also be good too.  I live in a new city, ride new dirt and pavement, and have a new job (which is looking for a new job).  So now I wash my bikes regularly. I feel like a clean bike gives me a clean slate every time.


Apparently, the clean slate does not apply to my luck as a mechanic.  I have a severely seized steerer tube on my road bike.  I've lubed, whacked, twisted, lubed some more, and whacked again. I've tapped, spun and sprayed it.  No dice.  The headset spins fine.  This was just supposed to be preventative maintenance, but instead it prevented me from doing maintenance.   I think the spacers are seized to the steerer tube.What's odd is only the top one is aluminum, the remaining ones are composite.  Could they be the culprit? Should I get a sledgehammer and a block of wood?  I would like a new frame and a sledgehammer would probably get me there.  I know,  I should go into a local shop and be like, 


 "Its a good thing you didn't hire me, I can't even service a headset.  
Please take my money magic men and perform some magic on my bike!"


Maybe I'll be like Elaine when she got blacklisted by all the doctors in New York.  Nice.  Off to see a Veterinarian I guess.  I wonder if the Vet will let me work off my debt?  Oh well, at least the bike is clean right?

            

Good Link On Bottom Brackets

Bottom Bracket sizes are confusing.  This helped me a bit. http://www.slowtwitch.com/Tech/Bottom_Bracket_Standards_2573.html

Cheers

Dreams and Character

Chasing dreams builds character.  How we deal with rejection says a lot about who we are.  Working through self doubt makes us physically and mentally stronger.  I'm re-learning this.  I have an advantage this time that I didn't have coming out of college though.  I bike.  When it hits the fan, I bike.  When cash gets low, I bike. When faced with rejection, criticism, and doubt, I bike.  Some people say lofty things like, "Biking can change the world".  I believe it, because it has changed mine.  So today's rejection means two wonderful hours of reflection and contemplation on the trainer.  Life is good as long as I have family, health and my bike.

Peace.

F.S.A. (Fully Sucking Ahead/For Sure Avoid)

A 100% guarantee is a bold statement of the pursuit of perfection. 75% off is a realistic and fair compensation for a bullet-proof product that rarely fails.  30% off of the replacement cost for a defective product like FSA carbon cranks says, "We are only 30% confident in the products we sell."  Not only is that failing, but its failing badly.  What's even more pitiful is the amount of people who have "Fully Sucking Ahead" carbon cranks with busted pedal inserts who have all been informed of the 30% guarantee.  Don't take my word for it.  Type "FSA carbon crank pedal insert" into your web browser and see for yourself.

So next time you are looking at a new bike or a new crankset, take it from my dad, For Sure Avoid FSA unless you feel good about being 30% sure your product will work.  I guess the glass half full view would be 70% confidence in product failure?  Either way it will likely be Fully Sucking Ahead.

Until Next Year...

The end of the Tour de France is always bittersweet.  Like a kid leaving Disneyland, or the end of the holidays, it signals a return to normalcy.  For three weeks normal was: ride, watch the Tour, ride while watching the Tour, and watch the Tour again in the evening over a few beers.  The allure of the Tour is  not just the fact that its an amazing feat of strength and endurance.  Its signals the time that most avid cyclists should hit their best form of the year.  The Tour also coincides with some of the coolest mountain bike races in the west. The Tour is also a celebration of how cool cycling is on a global scale.  There are bike commercials and bike news and people who don't pay attention to cycling recognize that something is going on with all these bike geeks.  Then it ends, and things go back to normal, until next year.

And she was hooked...

I was hunting through my truck for my TBR sticker today and I found one of the coolest emails my wife ever sent me. Here it goes:

April 16, 2012 8:56:22


So something is wrong with me! I woke up this morning and immediately thought about my Giant.  So I was surfing Colorado Cyclist's website...is the Hope Pro II Evo a good rear hub and is it compatible with my bike and with the wheels u bought?  Cuz if so I could buy all 3 for $367 not including my discount which is cheap right? I could pay u to build them.


Well my AM is off to a good start. How about yours?

Needless to say, I walked around and showed this email to all the cyclists that I worked with like it was a custom Coconino Cycles frame for me (that would be nice).  Wondering if she got them?

 Did I build them? Come on, my wife is smarter than that.

By the way, I found my sticker!

Short n Sweet

The race season is over for me.  Time to ride slow, get lost (physically and mentally) and enjoy my favorite thing to do: ride my bike. 50, 100, 12, 24, I'll see you guys next year.  In the meantime, I need to help the real racer in the family rehab so she can get back on the bike.

DBA #5

The “Hose Epiphany”

Towards the end of a mid-day ride this summer, I had an epiphany that led to a joke in my head that made me laugh out loud.  My bottles had been cashed for about an hour and I was thirsty so I drank from my camelback.  A chunk of the deteriorating hose came out of the bite valve for the fifth or sixth time.  As I chewed on that chunk of moldy, BPA laced plastic, I had a thought: They say its not safe to drink from a garden hose.

I disagree with this.

As kids growing up in Tucson, Arizona, we drank from garden hoses.  The water was nasty, but when its 109 degrees and you have been riding, running, or playing basketball for hours the water tastes great and is definitely the difference between life and death. It is relatively safe to drink from a garden hose.  The key word here is relative.  Relative to what?

Imagine the headline.  “Teenager Suffers Heatstroke After Refusing Water From a Garden Hose”.  This was my thought as I considered whether or not to continue drinking from my decrepit camelback.  Ironically the thought caused me to laugh out loud and lose an entire drink of cesspool water as well as a chunk of hose.  I also realized that another chunk was lodged in the bite valve causing it to spew water all over my shorts.  I blew that chunk back into the hose (the thought of which, would likely make some feel like blowing chunks) and continued riding.

I guess the bottom line is that everything is relative.  Drinking from a hose is safer than a heatstroke.  Drinking from an old camelback is safer than dehydration.  Maybe I’ll replace my camelback soon.

Flagstaff in Photos

No captions necessary.

Random

I love the smell of dirt, sweat and spent beer cans.

The Dilemma (Not the stupid, poorly acted movie)

Road or mountain? I couldn't decide.  I went to bed on the fence, I woke up on the fence. Finally it hit me.  Do the "AD Special". I have this stupid fast buddy in the Springs who occasionally does hammer rides on his mountain bike (his only bike) that include dirt and road. This is an AD Special.

So I left my house and began the climb to get to the trail head.  I had about two hours and the plan was to do a mini-climbfest including a couple of road climbs.  It turned out to be a great ride, but what made it worth noting was the little bonus I got during one of the climbs.  I never thought it would happen, but I "fat tired" a guy on a road bike.  I had heard of this sort of thing before.  In fact, in the Springs, it would be called getting "Duked". I just couldn't believe I actually did it. It was very casual.  I didn't kill it to catch him. I just rolled past, waived, and kept rolling thinking to myself, "This dude has skinnies, and gears. Surely I will fall apart in a mile and he will redeem himself by blowing past me with a big Campy shift and solid effort out of the saddle. I mean, the guy is a roadie." but it never happened.  I got to the top, ate a snack, talked to some strangers and after a few minutes, he rolled up.  I wonder what he was thinking.  If I were him, here's what might have gone through my head:

1) Dopers suck.
2) He must be running a really easy gear.  Its probably like a 30-30.
3) Dopers suck.
4) I'm doing a rest day ride and this jerk probably thinks he's Lance Armstrong now.
5) If this climb were 20 miles instead of 2, I would have caught him eventually (this one is true).
6) Dopers suck.

Good Times

My pre, during, and post hydration system.  Order and amount of consumption is up to the rider.

DBA #4

Hallucinations, Realizations, and Motivations Riding in the Desert

I now have two blazing hot mid-day rides under my belt.  One mountain, one road.  Here are some thoughts:

Mountain:

Wow, I have the trails all to myself.

Look up for snakes.

 The heat is not that bad. 5 minutes later, dang its hot! 5 minutes later, the heat is not that bad.

  It’s a good thing I have some “tropical” in me.

Road:

9 minutes 21 seconds in: Beer is going to taste so good when I’m done!

10:13: It must be hot if there is a snake carcass in the bike lane.

 21: 06: Climbing back up to my house is going to hurt.

 24:37: Agh! 100 degree Gatorade tastes like piss! This flavor is dead until winter.

 32:24: Dang its hard to put a water bottle into my jersey pocket. Tommy D makes it look so easy.

 40:42: I should probably sprint to a sign or something.

 40:43: Sprinting is stupid.

 60 minutes: Beer

Note: Roadies, don't judge me because I only road for an hour, it was hot!

DBA #3 (I think)

Deconstructing the Roadie:

I like road biking.  I have a roadie friend or two.  I think they are all too often misunderstood and consequently, stereotyped.  We have all heard the stereotypes.  They never waive or say hi, they always look angry, they are clicky and usually try to drop outsiders to show their superiority. Oh, and they wear too much Lycra.

Most roadies are nice. The assessments above are often not true, but we have all encountered the roadie who embodies most or all of these traits and bolsters the stereotype.  During one of my euphoric states (a.k.a. good ride) I realized why there are some roadies who fit the stereotype. 

On the road, there is bliss.  The sound of the tires against good pavement, a perfectly silent bike, the rhythm that can be found on long grueling climbs and the calm of achieving and maintaining the perfect cadence on a flat or rolling road.  Great conversation can be had on group rides as well.  This is the positive side that keeps roadies coming back. What is missing from this description is what I like to call, “the missing link”.  It is the reason why some roadies seem to hate biking, and more importantly, why many don’t waive.  The mini-van full of screaming kids, or pickup truck with a 10 inch lift and 44 inch tires that are taller that you, that comes within an inch of your elbow or actually clips you and sends you flying. Motorists who yell, spit, honk, or throw "Big Gulps" at you while riding.  Roads without bike lanes or even a shoulder for that matter.  Roads with bike lanes full of green and brown glass shards. Loose dogs, stumbling drunks, deer,  the list of variables goes on and on.  The one thing they all have in common is they rip a cyclist out of the euphoric state of joy like being abruptly awoken from a perfect bike dream.  The response in both of the above is to be grumpy and resentful of what has been taken from you.  Just like the state of bliss achieved from perfect conditions, the resentment and anger from terrible conditions can linger for hours or days.  During that time it is perfectly understandable that the roadie described above doesn’t want to waive, smile or chat.  They are grieving over the loss of bliss. The one thing we must all remember is that deep down, they still appreciate the waive or word from a fellow cyclist, even if they don’t respond to it.  

2 Kinds

I've been to a lot of shops over the past few days and I remembered something I figured out a long time ago.  There are two kinds of bike shops.  There are the "Mystical Magic Shops" and the "Bikes Are Cool and Everyone is Invited Shops". The MMS has a chip on its shoulder.  Strongly opinionated and if you don't agree you are stupid.  Working on bikes is magic, a gift even and if you aren't born with it you are SOL. Take your bike to the "Magic Men" or you will suffer the consequences.  The BACEIS wants to share.  They know most people, who want to, can figure it out and they also know not everyone wants to.  They believe, like good beer, bike knowledge/love should be shared.  Since they are cool, people want to come back.  Both types have their strengths, because MMS usually do have gifted mechanics.  BACEIS can have great mechanics too and usually have great customer service. I know which one I prefer, but really I just need one to hire me so I a can become "gifted".  Odds are it will be a BACEIS. Stay tuned...

Home...

Finally got on the dirt in ABQ. Being relegated to the trainer in prime riding season is just short of waterboarding.  Riding up the road to trail was pretty painful too, but when my tires finally hit dirt and I heard that familiar sound, a song popped into my head. Here it goes (fully butchered): Home, home, take me on home, home is the place I want to be, home, home, take me on home, home is wherever I'm with you...

Ode to Dirt

Insult to Injury (AKA I Got Jacked!)

Folks who know me, know what I care about.  One of those folks bought me a gift card to one of the best shops in town.  Now, I am a bike geek, so I NEVER LEAVE MY BIKE UNLOCKED. I do, however, leave my car unlocked from time to time.  Well I got caught slipping because I left that gift card in my unlocked car one night.  Some chump found the gift card amid a mess of random papers, stinger wrappers and bike receipts in my center console.  Why couldn't they have stolen my CD player, car seat, or even engine? I would not have missed those things much.  Instead, they hit me where it hurts, in the unpurchased bike schwag venue.  Lesson learned here; get a better CD Player to draw attention away from my bike stuff.

The "Mountain Biker's Lingo" Dictionary

Gnarly: A feature or entire trail that seems to have no rideable line to newbies, but clearly gets ridden.  Also carries serious penalties for failure. Synonyms: Technical Trail or Tech Section

Epic: 1)For a seasoned rider: A ride that becomes a spiritual journey; includes suffering, bliss and lots more suffering. Worthy of a solo six pack when it's over, but you're so tired, you only finish three. 2)For a newbie: The first ride on a "real" trail (happy mix of roots, rocks, drops, climbs etc.)

Sick: Reference to an extraordinary move on the bike; "That was a sick line you chose."

"Killing it": Riding hard from beginning to end. Synonyms: Hammering, Throwing Down, Crushing it.

Stoked: Overly excited before, during, and or after a solid ride.

"Getting Byrded": When the guy on the rigid fixie mountain bike cleans a gnarly feature on the first try and you can't do it on a $6500 full suspension bike, you've been "Byrded".  Note: The name of the guy or girl may vary in your town, but the definition is the same.

Trashed: When your bike is irreparably damaged during a ride or on the return trip from a ride (garage encounters).

Eating S%@t: Wrecking hard

Rag-dolling: A hard wreck that involves long, uncontrolled tumbling.

Bombing/Bombed: Riding a gnarly section of trail very fast. Synonyms: Railing, Cooking, Flying, etc.

Hucking: Getting big air on trail.

Blowing up: When your body completely fails on a climb. Synonyms: Roadies call it cracking.

Tacky: Grippy, moist trail conditions.

Plush: When your fork or shock, or both feel good.

Poser: Guy or girl with a nice bike they are scared to scratch. Good rides will scratch bikes.

Hero Dirt: Usually found within hours or days of precipitation.  Perfect traction leading to stupid attempts at being a hero. Thanks for this one SP.

Yard Sale: When your wreck and all of your s%#& falls out of your pack and off your bike. Thanks AD.

A$$ Clowning: When you try to stop before a steep, gnarly feature, but you end up stumbling or tumbling down while still on your bike.

More to come...

Getting "Chicked":When a woman rolls or blasts by you on trail.  Tends to show the make of the man. Take it with a smile fellas. If you have to race to catch her, she'd probably still beat you if she tried too.

New Dirt: New trails. Loose, narrow, perhaps rocky and full of potential.

Suffering: Sections or entire rides that are so difficult, strange noises emanate from ones throat, stars may be seen or vertigo may be experienced.

Hardening: Building mental toughness through suffering.  Examples include, but are not limited to:
- Riding through one or multiple "bonks" during a long ride
- Finishing a long ride despite a bad wreck
- Riding through multiple mechanical failures and or flats on a long ride
- Riding in bad weather during a long ride (planned or unplanned)

Sick Video on Vimeo

Found this on www.bikerumor.com

http://vimeo.com/42557564

Ridiculous. Watch it twice, I did.

Intervention

So I'm riding the other day with the regulars and I get called out. "Hey, did I see your road bike on the car the other day?" My response, "Yeah, I wanted to do a few runs up Cheyenne Canyon." Response, "Lame, you could have at least done that on your mountain bike." I guess the moral of this "call out" is my time on these trails is limited. There are plenty of roads everywhere, but good dirt is a commodity. Lesson learned. Dirt for the next ten days!

Podium Girl Thoughts

Ever wonder what the podium girls think when race winners swing their dead carcass funky arms over their heads and wait for their victory kiss? 1) I need to go wash my mouth. 2) Did he smell homeless before the race, because now he smells like the kid who jumped in the crapper in Slumdog Millionaire. 3) I think he deficated on himself at least twice. 4)Purging will be easy after this. I won't need to wash my hand. 5) I'm going to get a desk job. 6) ???

DBA #3 Criteria of a Bike Addiction (why I am a strong candidate):

The following list is a scientific criteria for diagnosing a bicycle addiction.

1)      In order to be an addict you must have some race experience, but not enough success for it to pay bills, otherwise its not an addiction, it’s a job.  Like, any other addiction the cost far outweighs the actual benefit, but the perceived benefit of getting high is what keeps us doing whatever it takes to get the money to get the next fix.

2)      You are a prolific “garage mechanic”, but you don’t work at a bike shop.  In other words, you don’t know what you are doing half the time, but you are willing to work into the wee hours of the night in order to figure it out. 

3)      You work for beer and barter, not cash.  Half the time when you “fix” a friends bike, the fix needs to be professionally fixed within days or weeks.

4)      You neglect your responsibilities such as parenting, working, sleeping, etc. to ride or work on your bike.

Hayes Brake Bleed Procedure

Step 1: Buy better brakes. Step 2: Refer to step 1.

Bike Spotting

Name those bikes.  Which one is the geek's?

Geek Spotting

Where is the geek?

Would it Still Be Fun?

Would amateur racing still be as fun if we didn't have this to look forward to after?

Data Doesn't Lie

I'm slower than I was this time last year. Took me a minute longer to get up Cheyenne Canyon.

Road to Nowhere...

Being a bike lush and a part-time single parent requires some creative cycling. Hauling my boy in his trailer with his 25 pound bike dangling from the back, dragging him in a "race" from time to time, etc. My most recent innovation is the outdoor ride that never leaves the house.

1) Set your bike up on the trainer on your deck, or in the driveway pointing in the direction you would actually like to be going.

2) Put your favorite team kit on so you can take yourself too seriously on the bike.

3) Install ear phones (even if you think this is blasphemy on trail, like me).

4) Make sure the door to your house is open so your kid doesn't freak out when he or she wakes up.

5) Ride.

DBA #2 Leg Tantrums

My four year old is awesome, most of the time. Sometimes however, he throws gnarly tantrums. When he does there is no talking him down. During the Whiskey 50, I realized my legs are a lot like a four year-old. All systems were a go climbing out of Skull Valley. Kids were throwing tantrums left and right, but my two kids were cranking. Then, without warning or reason, the tantrums began. I talked them down at 8 miles up. I got more firm with them at 14 miles up. Then on Cramp Hill, where everyone's kids were throwing wicked tantrums, my two kids went full blown. I talked to them again, and tried to walk with them. Then I stood, fuming at them silently for a few minutes. After that, my kids were awesome. Goal for next year: No tantrums. I heard if you hit them, they stop fussing, but I'm a little worried that might have some unintended consequences...

Diary of a Bicycle Addict

Prologue:

I knew it was a genuine addiction because it hit like any other addiction.  One time and I was hooked.  Like other addictions “highs” can be achieved when the drug is used correctly.  Ride far, get a high. Ride fast, get a high, ride tech, get a high, ride when you shouldn’t be able to (night, cold, snow) get a high. During these highs it is not uncommon to experience a state of euphoria.  This state can last a few moments or occasionally, a few days.  It is during these times, that I have creative outbursts that are worthy of diary entries. Oh yeah, like other drugs, the more you do, the more you have to do to get the high.

Entry #1: The “Personal Ads”

Companion wanted.  Seeking a woman who likes to ride mountain and road. Must commute to work from time to time and enjoy watching anything bike related on TV.  The Tour de France is required viewing.  Must be willing to attend and participate in local mountain and road races. Should also own at least two bikes.

Personal description:

I enjoy mountain and road biking.  I like to plan trips around biking.  After biking I like to eat, drink beer and if possible, bike again.  Other hobbies include reading books about bikes, looking at online stores for bike parts, watching films about bikes, working on bikes, talking about bikes, watching and participating in bike races and occasionally, writing about bikes.

Match: 

My wife. Hell yeah!

Pictures and Thoughts.

My wife called this the "photo shoot".  Freshly built DT 240 wheels on Stans Arch rims, new to me Reba, and King headset. 

Icing on the cake, dry-hopping the beer, makeup  on my already hot wife.  Not a necessity, but mighty nice.

Can I drink this if all I ride is a singlespeed.? Is it wrong to like it? Deep down inside do I envy those with gears and do I only ride my singlespeed as an excuse for getting crushed by faster guys and girls?

Service your fork regularly. By the way, there is no tool to remove this bolt.  Get a socket, a grinder and with a little luck, blood and patience, you might be able to service this old, P.O.S. fork.  

Some of us sleep in a RV when we "camp". Others like the feel of rocks in their backs and bugs biting their faces.  I tried the RV, then sold it. Welcome back rocks and bugs.

Dreams

Last night I dreamed that I won a crownrace installation tool. My wife won a fork. I was more exited about the tool.