Tuesday, January 14, 2014

"You singlespeeders hate everything"...

The other day my father summed things up nicely with the statement, "You singlespeeders hate everything".  I would like to expand on this.

Suspension: Sucks
Gears: Suck
Bike Computers: Suck
Frame materials other than steel: Suck (Titanium is rad but falls into the suck category because I can't afford it.  It is exempt from sucking for those who can afford it.)
Arguing over wheel sizes: Sucks
Electronic anything on a bike: Sucks


A few notes on the above:

1) These statements only apply to those exclusively riding singlespeeds.
2) People who ride bikes with suspension, gears, etc. don't suck.
3) Two exemptions shall be granted.  For example, one can ride an aluminum singlespeed with a suspension fork and not be considered a sucker.
3) People who exclusively ride singlespeeds suck.
4) People who use their singlespeed as an excuse to ride slower or slow their friends down suck.
5) Lenz "Milk Money's" do not suck!

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