DBA #5

The “Hose Epiphany”

Towards the end of a mid-day ride this summer, I had an epiphany that led to a joke in my head that made me laugh out loud.  My bottles had been cashed for about an hour and I was thirsty so I drank from my camelback.  A chunk of the deteriorating hose came out of the bite valve for the fifth or sixth time.  As I chewed on that chunk of moldy, BPA laced plastic, I had a thought: They say its not safe to drink from a garden hose.

I disagree with this.

As kids growing up in Tucson, Arizona, we drank from garden hoses.  The water was nasty, but when its 109 degrees and you have been riding, running, or playing basketball for hours the water tastes great and is definitely the difference between life and death. It is relatively safe to drink from a garden hose.  The key word here is relative.  Relative to what?

Imagine the headline.  “Teenager Suffers Heatstroke After Refusing Water From a Garden Hose”.  This was my thought as I considered whether or not to continue drinking from my decrepit camelback.  Ironically the thought caused me to laugh out loud and lose an entire drink of cesspool water as well as a chunk of hose.  I also realized that another chunk was lodged in the bite valve causing it to spew water all over my shorts.  I blew that chunk back into the hose (the thought of which, would likely make some feel like blowing chunks) and continued riding.

I guess the bottom line is that everything is relative.  Drinking from a hose is safer than a heatstroke.  Drinking from an old camelback is safer than dehydration.  Maybe I’ll replace my camelback soon.