Top 10 Things To Tell Your Local Bike Mechanic

1) I do my own repairs.

    Thanks! I will check everything I 

    expect to not have to check.

2) It's been like that for a while.

    Very few things cost more time or cause more stress 

    than me thinking I broke something or feeling bad about 

    delivering bad news.

3) I shop online.

    Duly noted. I won't use my time finding the part you 

    need or worry about warranty issues.

4) I have OCD.

    Me too. I will hunt for every creak or squeak, align all the     

    logos, caps, valve stems, and get the bike sparkly 

    clean.

5) Dial my bike in at all costs.

   When I'm done, your bike will make you think you are 

   dreaming, but you won't be dreaming. However, your 

   bike will be dreamy.

6) I love my bike.

    Make or shape doesn't matter. Time and effort are 

    irrelevant. I'll do everything in my power to revive your 

    ride. If it's flatlined, I'll break the news gently.

7) I ride it like I stole it.

    Thanks for the entertainment. I love when a bike makes 

    me think, "I've never seen anything like this before".

8) A bike is a bike.

    Sigh... I'll do the best I can with what I have. You'll think

    I'm not very good at what I do. These bikes usually make

    me feel that way too.

9) I only ride 3 or 4 times a year.

    I'm doing less of a tune-up and more of a dust off. Cool.

10) I'm getting ready to sell this bike.

    I'm going to ask you to do the right thing and fix it right. 

    Form isn't important, but function is a moral imperative.

Bikemas!

Every day at a bike shop is like Christmas. Santa's little helpers perform magic and make broken bikes work or make dope bikes doper.  Like Christmas, when big kids get their bikes they light up like candles. From time to time Santa has to deliver coal (your bike is clapped and I'm sorry), but like Santa, the shop has the power to de-clap (new ride) and its Bikemas all over again! Another lovely similarity, perhaps my favorite, is all the wonderful "milk and cookies" the happy kids leave Santa and his little helpers. Mmm be...I mean milk and cookies. I'm working on my belly that shakes like a bowl full of jelly. Sorry Mrs. Claus.

The Flies Know

I decided on a sufferfest yesterday.  During one of my many stops on the climb I noticed the flies  starting to gather and it occurred to me there were several plausible reasons why.

1) I smelled like warm doo-doo (recycling bike gear will do that).
2) They mistaked me for what I felt like, a rotting human carcass.
3) They were making fun of me for sucking.

I think maybe it was all of the above. It was a good ride.

My 2 Cents

I'll keep this brief. DI2 for my mountain bike. Stupid. Might as well put automatic shifters and pedal assist on mountain bikes too. Oh wait, DI2 with its "Optimized shifting" is basically automatic shifting. Stupid.

That Was Quick.

Get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking about my new covet bike.  A buddy of mine in ABQ built a sick long travel hardtail singlespeed with the option for gears a few months back.  I was curious.  The other day a "friend of the shop" rolled in with a similar long travel hardtail singlespeed to install his new dropper post and I got the bike crush again.  Funny thing is its an old crush, maybe.  Santa Cruz Chameleon? Some of my CO Springs homies may remember my fancy for that bike.  I know, I know, its a 26er, but 26 is not dead, that's just industry talk. There will always be 5'3" adults and vertically challenged preteens who need decent bikes with 26 inch wheels.

I am looking at 27.5/650B/may not be a fad frames as well.  The Kona Explosif is a 27.5 and steel.  I can run a 120mm fork on that.

Working at a bike shop. Rad.  Debt servitude...rad.

What does all this mean? Bad news for a couple of my current bikes.  Only the Surly is safe. I am not XC (prove it)!

Gear Geeking

Here is what I have learned so far:

1) 32 millimeter stanchions are apparently undersized (I still have some 30mm running around!).
2) Dropper posts should be standard equipment on all mountain bikes (sure, can't hurt right?).
3) 27.5 is the "magic" wheel size... or not.
4) One by anything drivetrains are the only way to fly (I accept this as it includes 1x1).
5) Carbon fiber has its place on mountain bikes (frames, bars, hoops), steel is still real, and I still can't afford Ti.
6) Add some meat and a side of Stan's to your tires (hold the tubes) for a tastier ride.

That's all for now.

Bike Life Cycle

Crazy how things work out.

When I was first smitten with the wonders of two pedal powered wheels I bought into all of the hype of the day.  Wanna be a better rider? Get a better bike.  Wanna be a better climber? Get better, lighter, stiffer wheels.  Wanna be a better descender? Get a full suspension.  Wanna...the list goes on and on.

The more I rode, the more I realized the hype was just that, hype.  Wanna be a better rider? Ride whatever you've got more, a lot more.  That's it, end of story.  Sure, if it breaks, replace what broke with something better.  Sure if the whole bike breaks, buy a better bike.  Breaking a bike by riding it hard means you've earned a better bike.

I dumped the hype, the suspension, the gears, the jerseys, the coveting.  I've been going steady with "less" and loving it for a while now.  Irony is a strange cat with interesting quirks though.  I work at an awesome bike shop now.  I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing.  Where is the irony one might wonder?  It is the simple fact that in order to excel at what I am doing, I need to buy back into the hype.  I have to geek out on the latest and learn how to fix it when it "gets broke".

I am not complaining, by the way.  In fact, I'm celebrating the humor in the irony.  Essentially I have earned the right to buy back into the hype.  I am actually kind of pumped to covet (really, deep down inside, I never stopped coveting).  I'm going to shred some rad bikes, spend money I don't have, break some expensive stuff which will cost me money I don't have and learn how to wrench with the best of them.

Crazy how things work out.  See you on trail.  If you don't recognize me because I am riding some sleek squishy bike with things that drop and rise, just yell "One is more fun" or "One is all you need to get it done".  I'll look and smile and you'll know its me.

Cheers to gears, squish, SINGLESPEEDS, dirt fixies, and whatever else gets people stoked on dirt!